The Four-Sided Babysitter

I read an article once that discussed the "Mom Wars;" the passive aggressive comparisons that occur between moms.  "So-and-so just started walking at 10 months old, can you believe it?" "That's so great! Myki walked at 9 months."  ...you know you've done that!  For the most part, I don't even think we mean to do it.  Sometimes, things like that come out of my mouth and I don't realize how bad it sounds until it's out, how there's an automatic comparison that I didn't mean to be there.  The same article  described statistics on television watching.  On average, when Pediatricians ask parents how many hours of TV their children watch on a given day, they'll tell the doctor approximately half of the hours they really watch.

The recommended TV time for small children / early childhood is no more than two hours a day.  That sounds like a lot, four shows essentially.  But avoiding the four-sided babysitter is harder than I ever thought it would be, especially with some very high quality programming that feels much more educational than just talking to Mami.  My 3 1/2 year old knows 20-something different dinosaur species, the difference between a carnivore and a herbivore and some really adorable songs thanks to Dinosaur Train.  He knows the colors of the rainbow, a basic version of the scientific method and what a microscope does from Sid the Science Kid.  He introduces me to different animal species from Wild Kratz.  Can that much information really be wrong?!

In the last few months though, my husband and I have wondered if we're taking the easy way out with the television.  Yes, the shows are great and yes, he learns a lot.  But his behavior and listening have also been slipping.  Myki was coming home from school and demanding that the TV go on.  He was unable to respond to a question or acknowledge your presence with the TV on.  And he was generally ignoring instructions and requests.  Last week, we put our feet down!  We decided to nix weekday TV and implement some of the structure we had mastered in Florida (Side-note: We are still adjusting to relocation a year later!).

At first, I found the transition away from TV very difficult.  I have a huge workload and I've always struggled with making a mental break from work when I come home.  I also don't really get any downtime to unwind and decompress.  I get off of work and either come home to my husband and son or go pick up my son.  With TV, I could at least come back to my room, undress, take a moment.  Now, it's full throttle activity.  I'm also not great at playing...especially when I'm tired.  So keeping the TV off is a challenge for me to delve into the world of make believe.  And, like most moms, I am plagued by mom guilt and just really struggle with using the little time I have with Myki every evening to fight about the TV or anything else.  Alas, this is a necessary evil.

But I am pleased to report that a few weeks of this struggle has paid off!  Tonight, from arrival home to being tucked into bed, Myki did not even mention the TV!  He played with his toys, told us about his day, got in the tub, brushed his teeth with little argument, got himself dressed (from underwear to slippers) and asked for stories!  Who is this self-sufficient and well- behaved little boy (notice, I did not say baby)?  While the four-sided babysitter has absolutely felt easy and even valuable, I think the Pediatricians might be onto something.