Like many women, I've been following the recent media conversations around work-life balance and women in the workplace. Since having my son in 2009, balance has been an elusive and fascinating concept for me. I am obsessive by nature, which does not make for balance. So the last four years of my life have really been an education in moving away from obsession and moving towards a more equitable distribution of not just my time, but also my mental energy, emotion and effort. I do not have the answers; I'm not sure anyone really does. But four years in, I absolutely feel prepared to look at marriage, motherhood, friendship, my career and the many other roles I play with equal parts dedication and rationality; dedication to always do my absolute best and rationality, knowing that there are only so many hours in the day and so much within my control.
The most interesting part of all of the most recent discussions around women's issues has been the divergence among women as to what the right answer is. Unfortunately, the most vocal critics of Anne Marie Slaughter, Sheryl Sandberg, etc., have been other women. According to Wikipedia, "Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women." I thought the definition was telling...apparently the definition of Feminism is as broad as the definition of Religion, it's a collection of things.
...Feminism is a collection of movements. I recently met a college student who said she can't call herself a Feminist. When asked why, she said she didn't feel like she'd done enough to earn the title, as if there was a certain number of hours you had to contribute to feminist causes to consider yourself a Feminist. Along similar lines, I often wonder if I can call myself a Feminist despite taking my husband's last name (no hyphen no keeping my own) without much discussion or debate. These rather narrow views of Feminism are absolutely part of the problem. Like all marginalized groups, if we can not come to consensus on even a common identity as feminists, how can we move forward? The backlash that many recent writings and commentaries have received from other women has solidified my commitment to and my idea of what it means to be a feminist. I am absolutely a feminist. Why? Because I care about the advancement of women and hope that we can find balance (whatever that looks like for each of us) and excel in whatever our chosen arena (or, all of our chosen arenas).
With that in mind, my personal thoughts on all of the recent media:
Why Women Still Can't Have it All? by Anne-Marie SlaughterSlaughter makes a really valid point about timing. Can women have it all? Absolutely! Can they have it all at the same time? Probably not....not until workplace policies and practices really allow for professional growth within the context of workplace flexibilities. I often consider my maternity leave and subsequent generous telework policy after my son was born. There's a certain reality to "out of sight, out of mind." While I was doing incredible work, I was simply not present in the office for months and when I reappeared, my physical time in the office was sparse; I probably was not on anyone's short list for the next promotion.
Is There Life After Work? by Erin CallanCallan, a former COO of Lehman Brothers' ultimate thesis is that she could have achieved all that she achieved and still had a life. I question that. I think women are inherently at a disadvantage in certain arenas. Like people of color, women often have to work twice as hard for minimum recognition and have to essentially overcompensate for the unconscious bias that many decision-makers (often white males). Personally, I have made sacrifices within my personal life to accommodate my professional responsibilities and I have also opted to "have a life" and not bend myself in a pretzel to accommodate something work-related. I think there are times when not pushing "life" aside has hindered me professionally and vice versa, times when putting work first has benefited me.
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg (link is to LeanIn.org, her non-profit organization)I'm only three chapters in, but I feel like Sandberg is speaking to me. She's thoughtful in her argument, has a conversational and easy-to-read tone, and acknowledges that she speaks from a position of privilege. Her book is more of a challenge to women to "lean in," and demand our seat at the table.
What do you think of all this feminist talk? Is there a "right answer" or a "right path" to having it all? What does "having it all" look like?
No comments:
Post a Comment