Health & Fitness

I listen to a pregnancy podcast called Pregtastic.  It's a panel of 3-6 women who are expecting.  Once women give birth, they are rotated out for new pregnant women and the topics vary from breastfeeding to pregnancy choices and what doctors are saying.  They begin each show with basic introductions and 2 ups and a down....2 positives and a negative.  In the spirit of which this blog was conceived, I will begin with my 2 ups in a continued effort to see the positive.

Up #1 - I really do like being pregnant - I feel good, I look good, my baby and I are healthy....what more could I ask for.

Up #2 - In effort to heed my Doctor's recent warnings about my health, I have not had a single pastry or sweet this week.  I've drank all the water and milk my bladder can handle.  And went on two nigh time walks around our community walking trail.

Down - I really want some of the key lime pie that's sitting in our fridge right now.  And I fear I will be off the short-lived health wagon quickly.

Health & Fitness just do not come naturally for me.  Everyone says, work out for a few weeks and it becomes second nature.  It's all about making it a routine, a part of your daily life.  Eating healthy is not about dieting, it's about lifestyle changes.  

But, I don't like to "work out."  I like activities and activities cost money - boxing class costs money, yoga and pilates classes cost money.  And those are just things I don't have the money for.  I will keep hope alive that this daily walking will do the trick - I take it as more of a convo session with my sister-in-law so hopefully her motivation lasts!

And, in terms of eating healthy as a lifestyle, as my mom used to say when I was young - I don't believe in that.  Intellectually, I know that eating healthy can make a HUGE difference in your life, in your health.  But, pancakes, rice and beans, lasagna and tres leches also make a HUGE difference in my life.  I love food - I love to eat it, to buy it, to cook it.  New recipes, restaurants,  afternoon treats at work - I really do love it all!! 

I know that the answer is balance - that, like everything in this life of multiple hats, I just need to find my center - walk as much as I can, eat the lasagna but not the tres leches today, the tres leches after a salad dinner tomorrow.  But, also like everything else, this is often easier said than done.  

Octuplets in California

Maybe it is my pregnancy, maybe it’s the fact that I’ve always said I want a big family, but I can’t get my mind off of this woman in California with 14 children. I watched her interview on Dateline last night and came away with so many different thoughts.

I agree with her – if I were to find out I was pregnant with 6 babies, I wouldn’t abort any of them. I just can’t be responsible for that.

I think it’s terrible that she says she had a dysfunctional home but can’t really say what the dysfunction was – her mother was a little distant? Her parents can’t be all that bad – they’re there helping her raise all of these kids.

Something about her saying her children are filling a void in her rubbed me the wrong way. And that she doesn’t want to be married, she wants the love of her children. Your children can’t provide the companionship and support that a partner can provide. And they shouldn’t be expected too, nor should they be expected to fill a void you have – you need some help for that.

I am not against single women having children…I don’t think lack of a partner should preclude someone from being a parent. But the extent to which she’s doing it. Single moms of 1 or 2 struggle…but 14.

She kept saying on the interview that when she gets her master’s degree in a year and a half, she’d start working and be able to support her kids.

1. What kind of salary does a family of 15 require – she has no work experience, how could she get that?

2. How can she work 8 hours a day and manage a household of so many children, especially some children with special needs.

And in terms of supporting her family, she’s currently accepting food stamps but she somehow came up with $60,000 to pay for IVF treatments ($10K for 6 pregnancies) and whatever her nose job and botox cost. Nevermind the manicure and tips she was sporting in the interview.

As a mom-to-be, I haven’t had my eyebrows done in 6 months and haven’t gotten a mani/pedi since I was in the Dominican Republic where it cost 4 dollars. I don’t understand how people come up with this kind of money. Something doesn’t add up.

But despite my racing thoughts about the situation, I do wish her and all her children the best. I hope that the doctor who implanted so many eggs in a single, unemployed student with six children is somehow debarred and I hope that her 8 babies don’t have any of the delays or troubles that they are predispositioned to have.

I’m torn because I don’t really believe anyone can tell a woman whether or not to have children or how many children a person can have….but her situation seems so selfish and irresponsible. For her kids sake, I hope her decisions were and continue to be the right ones.

Preggo Update - 23 weeks

I am now in my 23rd week of pregnancy - so 5 months and 2 weeks have passed - 2 weeks to go until that 6th month.  Part of me wishes I could accelerate this process and the logical part of me knows that Mike and I probably need the next three months to really prepare for Baby Fuller.   But I'm just so anxious to see those little fingers and toes, see whose eyes he/she has, see whether I should be saying she or he.

The photos above were taken the week before our move... so I'm even bigger now I think.  And although I dread buying anymore clothes, I love getting bigger and bigger.

Having just finished my 25 random things list on Facebook, I've been thinking in terms of lists so here goes, some random things about my pregnancy in recent weeks.

1. I've missed 2 Doctor appointments in the last week.  The first was rescheduled (after I waited for 3 and a half hours) because the Dr. was in the delivery room with the other Dr's baby (partners in practice)  and the second, I slept through.  

2. I'm in awe of MIA's Grammy performance - Can I dance around a stage at nine months pregnant?  or even now?  doubtful as 5 stairs have me out of breath.

3. My husband and his Dad built our baby's crib today.   When I saw it, I got all teary eyed and didn't turn around until I could get it together - lest the family see my sappyness.

4. My feet hurt pretty much all the time.  I'm going to try to soak them this week for some relief.

5. The Nursing Mother's Companion has become the top book on my personal top 10 reads list.  What to Expect When Your Expecting is next, I'm obsessed.

6. I learned that Mylanta can double as diaper rash ointment (thanks Ethel!)

7. I watched birthing videos on youtube at the recommendation of some of my coworkers.  They're mom's so I thought I should heed their advise.  I was a little traumatized....do you know how big a baby's head is??  And an episiotomy...really, it's awful.

8. I officially can't see my toes in the shower.

9. My baby's movements have become pretty constant - it's such a perfect feeling right now because it doesn't hurt yet...it's just constant tickles and flutters.  So cute.

10.   One of the hotel contacts I work with at Best Buddies has been away on maternity leave for the last 3 months.  Her voicemail at the hotel she works at says she'll be back February 1st.  When she wasn't back, I spoke to one of her colleagues and she said that she didn't come back.  She decided to stay home and be a full-time mom - I want to be like her when I grow up.  If only one income were enough for it all.  

Making our House a Home

This weekend was such a productive one in terms of getting the new place together.  I think it's safe to say all of the boxes are unpacked.  We have a couple boxes by the door waiting for a trip to Goodwill, some organization to be done, pictures to hang on the walls and a baby room that currently only has a crib and futon in it (yes, it will double as a guest room).   But our little house (condo) is definitely becoming a home and I am so excited!

Here, a blog entry I wrote (hand written) before we had Internet when we first moved last weekend.  I think it fully expresses my excitement at our new place.  

PS - Once everything is hung, pictures to come.

THE LITTLE THINGS  1.31.09

We completed our much anticipated move this past weekend....this past week I should say since Mike has been transporting things all week.  I am so physically drained, I can't even explain.  It's a different type of tired than I've ever been because although nothing but my feet actually hurts, every single movement seems to require more energy than I can muster.  I have officially graduated from getting up to literally heaving myself from sitting to standing or laying down (my preferred state).  But despite my exhaustion, I am so happy with the little things at this new place.

First, I have a laundry room!  Life without a washer and dryer has been nothing short of excruciating, not to mention smelly.  My standard of cleanliness decreased out of, I hate to admit it, laziness.  Instead of making that dreaded trip to the laundromat, I just bought more underwear, sprayed a little Febreeze and spot-cleaned as needed on the rest.  I never though I could stoop so low.  But in 24 hours of this new apartment, I have done 10 loads of laundry!  The things we take for granted...

Another of life's conveniences that I was missing out on...a dishwasher.  Yes, we really went back to basics in Miami.  So everything...and I mean everything we own that can be washed in the dishwasher has been.  And I finally feel like it's all clean.  Hopefully this will alleviate the dirty dish-filled sink syndrome I formerly suffered from.

But the piece de resistance (Sp?) of it all is our master suite.  OK, maybe it's not quire a suite but I really do love it.  I anticipate many hours here in the months to come.  We have a bed, a bed that I can sit on and my feet don't touch the floor.  And a dresser, something I haven't had since my days in Maryland, and wasn't sure I would get again since my husband doesn't believe in dressers (Crazy I know.)  There's a walk-in closet and a pocket door in a bathroom that seems so much larger than our last one (I hate pedestal sinks by the way).  And the part that really tops it all off?  A recliner!  My future nursing chair, the recliner with it's soft microfiber, soothing rocking motions and calm camel color, currently serve as a retreat in the corner of our room.  A place where I can sit and ponder, write and read and listen to my heart's content.  I'm convinced it's the best money I've ever spent.

So despite my longer commute into Miami, our little home in Pompano has already proven worth the sacrifice.  

25 Random Things - Ripped off from my Facebook page

OK, I know I'm pretty late jumping on the bandwagon but, it's not my fault, I'm pregnant - I move slower. I absolutely LOVE reading these lists so they've inspired me to write my own. So here goes...

1. I am an exhibitionist at heart. If my husband allowed me (he's paranoid about people seeing through the windows), I'd walk around naked every moment I was in my house. Yes, even with my preggo belly.

2. I have a phobia about people not liking me....it's bad, as if I were in high school - I hate not being the cool kid.

3. I'm going to have my MBA by the time my baby's 3 years old - MBA or bust!

4. My goal is to have a job that allows me to take personal trips at least every 3 months - DR, NY, Bolivia, Hawaii, Italy, Washington DC (MD and VA too!), NJ, Penn State, St. Thomas, Tallahassee - I have a lot of people I want to see.

5. I really don't like the phone. Hence #4, I really appreciate face time.

6. I aspire to be Julia Alvarez - I will one day write a book about the first generation experience. My blog is the start to my writing career and it makes me feel good. (Shameless plug: mrspamelafuller.blogspot.com - READ IT!)

7. I feel constant guilt (thanks mom!) over my family and the fact that I'm not with them more. I wish all of my siblings and my parents could live on a compound here in Florida. And I wish I had the wherewithal to keep in touch with all of my aunts and cousins via phone (I should work on #5)

8. I have a habit of saying whatever I want and over commenting on things. My husband thinks it’s a little obnoxious, my friend Heather tells me I’m all knowing....it works for some people and not for others.

9. I, like Julie, sometimes look homeless. I don’t know why but I just can’t get myself together some days....and it’s getting harder now that nothing fits and it’s stupidly cold in Miami.

10. It is my fantasy to have the money to get my hair done each week – this would probably help with the homeless look.

11. I love magazines – I’m such a sucker for subscription offers.

12. My friend Jenn and I have known each other since stretch pants and afros – yes, our moms put us in stretch pants and yes, neither of our moms really knew how to do hair.

13. I didn’t learn fluent Spanish until I was 13 – my Mom didn’t want me to have an accent and my Dad lost the battle. So now that I do speak Spanish, it’s not great, which I’m ashamed of.

14. I really want my baby to be fluent in Spanish – like not start speaking english until Kindergarten.

15. I don’t believe in cubicles – what would psychologists say about cramming 10 people together in a square, not giving them windows, having them work under florescent lights and in my case, letting people have meetings and phone conferences as loud as they’d like? How are those factors supposed to lead to increased productivity?

16. I believe I have a mild case of ADD – probably why cubicles bother me so much.

17. People laugh at me when I say this but I could eat pancakes everyday for at least 2 of my meals. I don’t think they think I’m being serious, but I really am.

18. I miss my friends – A LOT.

19. I dream of living abroad someday, at least for a year.

20. I could watch trashy reality TV shows all day. And when my husband works on Saturdays, I’ve done it.

21. I’ve never been to a strip club and I’d like to see one.

22. I think my husband is the funniest person in the world....really, the funniest.

23. My husband used to call me concretia (like concrete) because when we met, I was so “hard” and according to him, heartless. But I’m actually really sensitive and I love him so much that my feelings get hurt on a weekly basis. (This used to be daily though – so I guess I’m toughening up, living up to my name!)

24. My friend Sasha says she wants me to narrate her life – I get such a kick out of that!

25. When I moved to Florida, I was sure it was temporary but now my mom is planning to move down here and I’m having a baby so....I’m pretty sure I’m here for the long haul.

Over the Hump

Tomorrow marks the start of my 21st week of pregnancy.  I have officially completed half of my preggo-hood and am ecstatic to have only 19 weeks to go (maybe less if Baby keeps growing this way.)  As good a pregnancy as I think I've had, I really can't wait for this part of the cycle to be over and to finally have baby Fuller become a reality.

In the last weeks, we've had our mid-way sonogram.  It was amazing to see little legs and little arms, a butterfly heart and big round head, even a facial profile.   We held strong and didn't ask to see the gender of the baby...much to the dismay of all of my girlfriends who are eagerly awaiting the verdict.  It's funny how all of the women think waiting on the gender is the stupidest thing since...well, since something stupid...and men think it's the thing to do.  

Mike hasn't really weighed in on the great gender debate recently but everyone else has.  My sister-in-law has said it's a girl.  And everyone else is rooting for the boy.  Aunt Sharon has specifically requested a fat, healthy, Michael James Fuller III to keep the name alive. Litz at work says I look like I'm carrying a boy.  Vicky agrees and Dahlia says that she just pictures me with a boy.  I caught myself falling into the trap - referring to the baby as he and talking about his movements and how he looked in the sonogram.  But most recently I've been rooting for the girl - the underdog.  

Whatever the gender, Baby Fuller is growing big and strong.  Apparently she'll be a gymnast because she spends all day boppin around in my stomach...luckily they're still kind of light jabs and flips.  And according to the latest sonogram, he's 13 ounces, a week ahead of schedule.  And in the last two weeks, my tummy has just popped out.  Mike says this probably isn't the half of how big I'll get.  I told my friend Mayra that I've had to heave myself around most recently and I fear that by 9 months, I'll be wheel chair bound! 

Here's to being over the hump!

Inauguration Day!

As Barack Obama put his hand on the bible today, my eyes filled with tears. I've been pretty even keeled about Barack since he won the election. I am amazed that he won, proud and so excited that my baby will be born into a United States led by a black man, by someone who looks like him or her. At the same time, I understand the challenges he faces and the fact that his triumphs will probobly come slowly....it will take as long to mend the issues of the United States as it took to create them. But I think we've done a good job of selecting someone who will start to build this country back up. I was surprised at how emotional it was too watch, how despite my best efforts, I got caught in the wave - the hope and promise that that oath has brought to our nation.

The best part of all of it was how celebratory everyone was. I don't think I've ever watched a Presidential inauguration before but today, the world stopped to take notice at "The Moment." I loved Saturdays concert, I loved today's crowds, the tears and cheers that echoed across the capitol and I really, really loved Rev. Joseph Lowry's benediction.

He reminded me of my choir days and refreshed words that are perfect for the repoirtoire of lullabys I will soon need. He spoke to the gravity of today in a language so many could understand and spoke to my growing spirituality.

But of course, my favorite part:

"Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen."

Cankles

It is official, I have cankles. This weekend we took a long overdue trip to Tallahassee. Mike’s family lives there – his grandmother and the majority of his aunts and cousins on his father’s side – the Fuller clan. I really love family trips and think it’s important, especially with the baby on the way, that we get used to taking the drive up there. We can’t claim the expense because the drive to Tally is nothing compared to the cost of flights to some of the other family hot spots – St. Thomas, Dominican Republic, New York – and we can always hop a ride with Mike’s parents when they head up here. So after much lobbying on my part, we finally made it. And had a good time I might add. The house was full of babies I could practice with and spending time with Mike's family was great. You learn so much about people when you spend time with their families....all of the sudden, things they've said or reactions they've had to things make perfect sense...in a good way.


It’s kind of unfortunate that the trip waited until I was pregnant though. I have said over and over again (knock on wood) that my pregnancy has been a blessed one. I have yet to “get sick” or need a sick day due to the pregnancy. I’m a little achy, a little tired, but nothing compared to the stories I’ve heard. So the drive was fine and honestly not as long as I’d expected. But I think for any growing belly, the swollen ankles are something impossible to avoid. So when we arrived in Tallahassee and I put my feet up on Mike’s lap….I looked down perplexed at what looked to be two sprained ankles. “Honey, look at my ankles, they disappeared.” “That’s ‘cause your fat” Mike replied. He was just kidding, and I knew that, but my pride was a little hurt. He recovered quickly, “no just kidding honey, you’re beautiful, your ankles look fine.” But my extra lb’s have just recently been hitting some sort of self esteem nerve. I’m just waiting for that next month; hopefully the baby bump pops out soon so I can justify how rotund I feel. :-)

Truly Blessed

Baby Fuller started kicking this week!  I really couldn't believe it.  At first it felt like gas.  All of the baby books and preggo email alerts warn you that that's what it will feel like but you don't believe them.  I thought, I would definitely know the difference between gas and MY BABY!  But I really didn't...not at first.  And then it got more distinct and closer together and I knew it was something else.  It's so fantastic.  

Everyone says that the little flutterings and jabs that I feel are nothing, that this turns into full-fledged abuse at some point and you can feel things like the baby doing a complete flip.  Although I'm dying to get that close to d-day, I am definitely relishing the small pleasures that the baby gives me these days.

We have also started accumulating baby things already....I'm not even 5 months along and we have a crib, a bassinet, a car seat, a bath tub and an assortment of designer clothes direct from Peru (thank you Jessica and Dante)! Mike is concerned that I'm too caught up in all the baby stuff and since "broke" is our middle name (true of most 24 yr olds), I think he worries that I'll be upset if we can't afford all the stuff.  But at this point all I require are pampers and baby wipes and I think our baby will have more than enough.  I really feel blessed at the out pour of love that baby fuller has already received.

I guess a part of me is even surprised.  I've spent the last few years in something of an emotional roller coaster.  Senior year in college was filled with my mom's illness and the balance of doing what I needed to do for her and graduating.  After graduation, my life consisted of counting the days between visits with my beloved all the way in Florida until I finally moved to Florida in March of 2007.  And since then, I've been working to find my niche here.  I planned a wedding and have been lucky enough to travel to California, Boston and Washington for work.  But in the process, I lost touch.  I didn't keep up on emails and was even worse with phone calls.  I've been working at it slowly but surely and am relieved and again, blessed, that my loved ones have been patient with me and keep loving me despite my flaws.

Oh blessed baby, how happy you make me.  It's been quite some time since I've looked at the world through these rose-colored glasses.

Being Pregnant

Being pregnant is so much fun. I've yet to have any major pains or hurdles. People ask me about how I'm feeling, cravings, etc. I'm just hungry, in general, and tired, in general....two things that aren't much different from my life before pregnancy.

I guess the biggest changes have been 1. my body - the big, well, even bigger bust, the growing belly, aches and pains, and an ever accelerated heart rate and 2. my focus. I am a woman obsessed. I eat, sleep and breath pregnancy. I read everything I can get my hands on, I daydream about what the next five months have to offer and the next 18 years after that. I relate absolutely everything to this future being growing inside me. In the last week, I've researched life insurance, disability insurance, Lamaze classes, Florida's Prepaid College Plan, choosing a Godmother, breastfeeding seminars and support groups, created a baby registry and fantasized about making my five year old pancakes on Sunday mornings. Absolutely every conversation about just about anything can turn into a conversation about Baby Fuller and I've tried to be careful not to overstay the welcome of my baby talk. I think my husband will tell you I haven't really succeeded in curbing my enthusiasm.