Over the Hump

Tomorrow marks the start of my 21st week of pregnancy.  I have officially completed half of my preggo-hood and am ecstatic to have only 19 weeks to go (maybe less if Baby keeps growing this way.)  As good a pregnancy as I think I've had, I really can't wait for this part of the cycle to be over and to finally have baby Fuller become a reality.

In the last weeks, we've had our mid-way sonogram.  It was amazing to see little legs and little arms, a butterfly heart and big round head, even a facial profile.   We held strong and didn't ask to see the gender of the baby...much to the dismay of all of my girlfriends who are eagerly awaiting the verdict.  It's funny how all of the women think waiting on the gender is the stupidest thing since...well, since something stupid...and men think it's the thing to do.  

Mike hasn't really weighed in on the great gender debate recently but everyone else has.  My sister-in-law has said it's a girl.  And everyone else is rooting for the boy.  Aunt Sharon has specifically requested a fat, healthy, Michael James Fuller III to keep the name alive. Litz at work says I look like I'm carrying a boy.  Vicky agrees and Dahlia says that she just pictures me with a boy.  I caught myself falling into the trap - referring to the baby as he and talking about his movements and how he looked in the sonogram.  But most recently I've been rooting for the girl - the underdog.  

Whatever the gender, Baby Fuller is growing big and strong.  Apparently she'll be a gymnast because she spends all day boppin around in my stomach...luckily they're still kind of light jabs and flips.  And according to the latest sonogram, he's 13 ounces, a week ahead of schedule.  And in the last two weeks, my tummy has just popped out.  Mike says this probably isn't the half of how big I'll get.  I told my friend Mayra that I've had to heave myself around most recently and I fear that by 9 months, I'll be wheel chair bound! 

Here's to being over the hump!

Inauguration Day!

As Barack Obama put his hand on the bible today, my eyes filled with tears. I've been pretty even keeled about Barack since he won the election. I am amazed that he won, proud and so excited that my baby will be born into a United States led by a black man, by someone who looks like him or her. At the same time, I understand the challenges he faces and the fact that his triumphs will probobly come slowly....it will take as long to mend the issues of the United States as it took to create them. But I think we've done a good job of selecting someone who will start to build this country back up. I was surprised at how emotional it was too watch, how despite my best efforts, I got caught in the wave - the hope and promise that that oath has brought to our nation.

The best part of all of it was how celebratory everyone was. I don't think I've ever watched a Presidential inauguration before but today, the world stopped to take notice at "The Moment." I loved Saturdays concert, I loved today's crowds, the tears and cheers that echoed across the capitol and I really, really loved Rev. Joseph Lowry's benediction.

He reminded me of my choir days and refreshed words that are perfect for the repoirtoire of lullabys I will soon need. He spoke to the gravity of today in a language so many could understand and spoke to my growing spirituality.

But of course, my favorite part:

"Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen."

Cankles

It is official, I have cankles. This weekend we took a long overdue trip to Tallahassee. Mike’s family lives there – his grandmother and the majority of his aunts and cousins on his father’s side – the Fuller clan. I really love family trips and think it’s important, especially with the baby on the way, that we get used to taking the drive up there. We can’t claim the expense because the drive to Tally is nothing compared to the cost of flights to some of the other family hot spots – St. Thomas, Dominican Republic, New York – and we can always hop a ride with Mike’s parents when they head up here. So after much lobbying on my part, we finally made it. And had a good time I might add. The house was full of babies I could practice with and spending time with Mike's family was great. You learn so much about people when you spend time with their families....all of the sudden, things they've said or reactions they've had to things make perfect sense...in a good way.


It’s kind of unfortunate that the trip waited until I was pregnant though. I have said over and over again (knock on wood) that my pregnancy has been a blessed one. I have yet to “get sick” or need a sick day due to the pregnancy. I’m a little achy, a little tired, but nothing compared to the stories I’ve heard. So the drive was fine and honestly not as long as I’d expected. But I think for any growing belly, the swollen ankles are something impossible to avoid. So when we arrived in Tallahassee and I put my feet up on Mike’s lap….I looked down perplexed at what looked to be two sprained ankles. “Honey, look at my ankles, they disappeared.” “That’s ‘cause your fat” Mike replied. He was just kidding, and I knew that, but my pride was a little hurt. He recovered quickly, “no just kidding honey, you’re beautiful, your ankles look fine.” But my extra lb’s have just recently been hitting some sort of self esteem nerve. I’m just waiting for that next month; hopefully the baby bump pops out soon so I can justify how rotund I feel. :-)

Truly Blessed

Baby Fuller started kicking this week!  I really couldn't believe it.  At first it felt like gas.  All of the baby books and preggo email alerts warn you that that's what it will feel like but you don't believe them.  I thought, I would definitely know the difference between gas and MY BABY!  But I really didn't...not at first.  And then it got more distinct and closer together and I knew it was something else.  It's so fantastic.  

Everyone says that the little flutterings and jabs that I feel are nothing, that this turns into full-fledged abuse at some point and you can feel things like the baby doing a complete flip.  Although I'm dying to get that close to d-day, I am definitely relishing the small pleasures that the baby gives me these days.

We have also started accumulating baby things already....I'm not even 5 months along and we have a crib, a bassinet, a car seat, a bath tub and an assortment of designer clothes direct from Peru (thank you Jessica and Dante)! Mike is concerned that I'm too caught up in all the baby stuff and since "broke" is our middle name (true of most 24 yr olds), I think he worries that I'll be upset if we can't afford all the stuff.  But at this point all I require are pampers and baby wipes and I think our baby will have more than enough.  I really feel blessed at the out pour of love that baby fuller has already received.

I guess a part of me is even surprised.  I've spent the last few years in something of an emotional roller coaster.  Senior year in college was filled with my mom's illness and the balance of doing what I needed to do for her and graduating.  After graduation, my life consisted of counting the days between visits with my beloved all the way in Florida until I finally moved to Florida in March of 2007.  And since then, I've been working to find my niche here.  I planned a wedding and have been lucky enough to travel to California, Boston and Washington for work.  But in the process, I lost touch.  I didn't keep up on emails and was even worse with phone calls.  I've been working at it slowly but surely and am relieved and again, blessed, that my loved ones have been patient with me and keep loving me despite my flaws.

Oh blessed baby, how happy you make me.  It's been quite some time since I've looked at the world through these rose-colored glasses.

Being Pregnant

Being pregnant is so much fun. I've yet to have any major pains or hurdles. People ask me about how I'm feeling, cravings, etc. I'm just hungry, in general, and tired, in general....two things that aren't much different from my life before pregnancy.

I guess the biggest changes have been 1. my body - the big, well, even bigger bust, the growing belly, aches and pains, and an ever accelerated heart rate and 2. my focus. I am a woman obsessed. I eat, sleep and breath pregnancy. I read everything I can get my hands on, I daydream about what the next five months have to offer and the next 18 years after that. I relate absolutely everything to this future being growing inside me. In the last week, I've researched life insurance, disability insurance, Lamaze classes, Florida's Prepaid College Plan, choosing a Godmother, breastfeeding seminars and support groups, created a baby registry and fantasized about making my five year old pancakes on Sunday mornings. Absolutely every conversation about just about anything can turn into a conversation about Baby Fuller and I've tried to be careful not to overstay the welcome of my baby talk. I think my husband will tell you I haven't really succeeded in curbing my enthusiasm.