It's March; I can't even believe it. It feels like Christmas was just last month. Worse still is the reality that I've lived in Virginia almost a year. Each year I am in awe of how quickly the time seems to pass.
So, my New Years resolution this year was kind of the opposite of what it had been in the past years. Instead of setting an abundance of stringent goals, I decided to just relax and commit to put my best foot forward each and every day and enjoy life.
Two months in, how have I done? I think I've done ok. It's been a very pensive year thus far. I've been really trying to figure out what I want out of life, my career, my friends and family? I've been trying to consider what I need to do to build up my sense of worth (a constant struggle), decrease my perpetual sense of guilt, and really take care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally. It's difficult to do that without feeling guilty, like I'm spending too much time on myself and neglecting my husband and son especially.
I think these pensive months have led me to the point where I can set some tangible goals. I've been reading/following a few mom blogs and yesterday was all about March goals. Monthly goals feel very manageable, so here goes...
In March I will:
- Bake or cook something with Myki - he loves to spend time in the kitchen and I want to nurture that!
- Go on a date with my Hubby - hopefully the movies, he loves movies! (Looking for a sitter!)
- Post in my blog twice a week - I'm playing with the idea of starting a for-profit blog versus just this personal journal-type blog. In order to do that, I need to write consistently! Examples: tinybluelines.com and theyoungmommylife.com
- Do my taxes, get our will notarized, and pay off one of my small debts - 2013 has been all about getting my financial house in order, new car in 2013 and homeownership in the next five years, or bust!
- Begin Oprah and Deepak Chopra meditation challenge - hoping this will help calm my nerves and help me just stop and enjoy my many blessings!
I've intentionally left off any work-related goals. I think I need to focus on the rest of my life and let my career be what it will be for a moment.
Do you have any goals this month? Please share and we can hold each other accountable!
Happy March everyone!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Date Night is Incredible and I Wish I Had Babysitter Money!
It is Valentine's Week and love is in the air! My husband and I celebrated early with a date night last Friday. Madrina Stacy spent her evening with Myki while he and I ventured to Rockville, MD for "Painting and Pizza." Our evening began at Visarts where we took the very loose interpretation of a painting "class." The teacher essentially outlined the paintings for us, made some general comments on supplies and shading and told us to have at it. Our final products were nothing museum worthy, but a good first attempt at art if I do say so myself. (Maybe not first ever, but first since art was required in grade school!)
The evening then progressed to Oro Pomodoro, a delicious and surprisingly fancy Italian restaurant, complete with lots of born and bred Italians, for make your own pizza. It was fairly simple - stretch the dough (thin in the middle with a thick crust), add tomato sauce, basil, mozzarella and Parmesan cheese (all of which smelled divine!). It was a basic margarita pizza (named for an Italian queen - who knew!). We each placed our pizza in the 900 degree wood-burning oven and two minutes later, they were ready for eating. They were delicious and brought all new meaning to the words "made with love."
So much of a balanced family life is based in routine; all the new mom readings tell you so, and it really is true - children are impossible without habits. Unfortunately, there is nothing sexy about routine. So it's easy for my husband and I to feel like glorified roommates or co-babysitters. Friday's date night was a reminder that we enjoy each other's company, that we are actually interesting, fun and funny people, that while routine is not sexy, we absolutely are! It's amazing how much you don't realize you miss something until you get to experience it again.
So why is date night so rare for us when it's so incredible? Resources and circumstance have limited our opportunity. I'm amazed I haven't read or heard more about the incredible cost of babysitters. In the case of Friday, it would have cost me more to have a babysitter than to actually go on the date. I mean my son goes to bed at 8 PM and babysitter's want to charge $100 to watch Myki for two hours and spend the majority of their evening sitting on my couch watching my cable. In what other field can you overcharge to this degree? I mean, I want to trust whoever is watching my son, and I want to pay them to do it...but I do require a bit more affordability.
It's an absolute case for living next door to your parents, or some family member who has an obsession with your child(ren). When we lived in Florida, my husband's family was nearby, but they had lives of their own; no one was interested in spending their Friday and Saturday night watching a baby. We absolutely got an occasional reprieve but nothing near the monthly or weekly dates a marriage deserves.
Thankfully, we are slowly but surely working our way towards financial stability and hopefully, a babysitter/entertainment fund! In the interim, we enjoy many an adult-only movie night, the occasional adventure with the help of someone's (like Madrina Stacy's) kindness and a running joke that if only we had a custody agreement with someone to take Myki every other weekend, we could get all the date time we needed! (Totally kidding on this last point and not at all meant to offend any single parents out there - custody arrangements are rarely funny.)
The evening then progressed to Oro Pomodoro, a delicious and surprisingly fancy Italian restaurant, complete with lots of born and bred Italians, for make your own pizza. It was fairly simple - stretch the dough (thin in the middle with a thick crust), add tomato sauce, basil, mozzarella and Parmesan cheese (all of which smelled divine!). It was a basic margarita pizza (named for an Italian queen - who knew!). We each placed our pizza in the 900 degree wood-burning oven and two minutes later, they were ready for eating. They were delicious and brought all new meaning to the words "made with love."
So much of a balanced family life is based in routine; all the new mom readings tell you so, and it really is true - children are impossible without habits. Unfortunately, there is nothing sexy about routine. So it's easy for my husband and I to feel like glorified roommates or co-babysitters. Friday's date night was a reminder that we enjoy each other's company, that we are actually interesting, fun and funny people, that while routine is not sexy, we absolutely are! It's amazing how much you don't realize you miss something until you get to experience it again.
So why is date night so rare for us when it's so incredible? Resources and circumstance have limited our opportunity. I'm amazed I haven't read or heard more about the incredible cost of babysitters. In the case of Friday, it would have cost me more to have a babysitter than to actually go on the date. I mean my son goes to bed at 8 PM and babysitter's want to charge $100 to watch Myki for two hours and spend the majority of their evening sitting on my couch watching my cable. In what other field can you overcharge to this degree? I mean, I want to trust whoever is watching my son, and I want to pay them to do it...but I do require a bit more affordability.
It's an absolute case for living next door to your parents, or some family member who has an obsession with your child(ren). When we lived in Florida, my husband's family was nearby, but they had lives of their own; no one was interested in spending their Friday and Saturday night watching a baby. We absolutely got an occasional reprieve but nothing near the monthly or weekly dates a marriage deserves.
Thankfully, we are slowly but surely working our way towards financial stability and hopefully, a babysitter/entertainment fund! In the interim, we enjoy many an adult-only movie night, the occasional adventure with the help of someone's (like Madrina Stacy's) kindness and a running joke that if only we had a custody agreement with someone to take Myki every other weekend, we could get all the date time we needed! (Totally kidding on this last point and not at all meant to offend any single parents out there - custody arrangements are rarely funny.)
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Pictures Don't Lie!
I have always embraced my shape and figure. I've felt confident in my own skin, sexy even. I'd only really take note of my size when friends or people around me were trying to loose weight, and even then it was more an effort in camaraderie than anything I was really focused on...ok, where working out, eating salad. Like most women, I've yo-yo'd between sizes, and have three sizes in my closet to prove it. But through it all I remained confident. A little extra here or there never bothered me and as people always told me, I carried it well, I was just "thick," "llenita."
It wasn't until after I had my son in 2009, that I really began to feel heavy, self-conscious. My whole body changed. Spreading hips, sagging skin, droopy breasts, hair loss, stretch marks that refused to respond to cocoa butter or vitamin E! Even my feet fell victim to the changes spreading from a cute 7 1/2 to a monstrous 9 (I know it's normal, but it felt monstrous!)
For the last three years, I've been acutely aware of the rolls that pour over my waistline when I sit down, the extra width in my face, thighs that refuse to stop jiggling, cellulite! It slaps me hardest when I see pictures. "Who is that giant woman?! She looks like me in a fat suit!" Especially as my son grows, being a "new mom" is no longer a plausible excuse.
I've made many an attempt at weight loss, with mixed results. Through it all, I've lost 30 lbs in 3 1/2 years...if that trend continues, I'll be at my goal weight in 7 years...which is better than never I suppose! (Insert silver lining here.)
I recently found another blog that made me feel better about the whole thing: shapeofamother.com. I do wish I'd found it 4 years ago when my body was changing so dramatically; but better late than never. The blog is full of women's' accounts of how their bodies changes, how they felt/feel about it, how their partners feel about it. Like any struggle, it's been nice to know I'm not alone in my struggle with a mother's shape.
At this point, I only long for that old confidence, the feeling that despite the wide hips, less than perky breasts, and never ending stretch marks, I am fly in my own skin! I'm hopeful that with time, and continued efforts at a healthy lifestyle, I will get there.
It wasn't until after I had my son in 2009, that I really began to feel heavy, self-conscious. My whole body changed. Spreading hips, sagging skin, droopy breasts, hair loss, stretch marks that refused to respond to cocoa butter or vitamin E! Even my feet fell victim to the changes spreading from a cute 7 1/2 to a monstrous 9 (I know it's normal, but it felt monstrous!)
For the last three years, I've been acutely aware of the rolls that pour over my waistline when I sit down, the extra width in my face, thighs that refuse to stop jiggling, cellulite! It slaps me hardest when I see pictures. "Who is that giant woman?! She looks like me in a fat suit!" Especially as my son grows, being a "new mom" is no longer a plausible excuse.
I've made many an attempt at weight loss, with mixed results. Through it all, I've lost 30 lbs in 3 1/2 years...if that trend continues, I'll be at my goal weight in 7 years...which is better than never I suppose! (Insert silver lining here.)
I recently found another blog that made me feel better about the whole thing: shapeofamother.com. I do wish I'd found it 4 years ago when my body was changing so dramatically; but better late than never. The blog is full of women's' accounts of how their bodies changes, how they felt/feel about it, how their partners feel about it. Like any struggle, it's been nice to know I'm not alone in my struggle with a mother's shape.
At this point, I only long for that old confidence, the feeling that despite the wide hips, less than perky breasts, and never ending stretch marks, I am fly in my own skin! I'm hopeful that with time, and continued efforts at a healthy lifestyle, I will get there.
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