Pictures Don't Lie!

I have always embraced my shape and figure. I've felt confident in my own skin, sexy even. I'd only really take note of my size when friends or people around me were trying to loose weight, and even then it was more an effort in camaraderie than anything I was really focused on...ok, where working out, eating salad. Like most women, I've yo-yo'd between sizes, and have three sizes in my closet to prove it. But through it all I remained confident. A little extra here or there never bothered me and as people always told me, I carried it well, I was just "thick," "llenita."

It wasn't until after I had my son in 2009, that I really began to feel heavy, self-conscious. My whole body changed. Spreading hips, sagging skin, droopy breasts, hair loss, stretch marks that refused to respond to cocoa butter or vitamin E! Even my feet fell victim to the changes spreading from a cute 7 1/2 to a monstrous 9 (I know it's normal, but it felt monstrous!)

For the last three years, I've been acutely aware of the rolls that pour over my waistline when I sit down, the extra width in my face, thighs that refuse to stop jiggling, cellulite! It slaps me hardest when I see pictures. "Who is that giant woman?! She looks like me in a fat suit!" Especially as my son grows, being a "new mom" is no longer a plausible excuse.

I've made many an attempt at weight loss, with mixed results. Through it all, I've lost 30 lbs in 3 1/2 years...if that trend continues, I'll be at my goal weight in 7 years...which is better than never I suppose! (Insert silver lining here.)

I recently found another blog that made me feel better about the whole thing: shapeofamother.com. I do wish I'd found it 4 years ago when my body was changing so dramatically; but better late than never. The blog is full of women's' accounts of how their bodies changes, how they felt/feel about it, how their partners feel about it. Like any struggle, it's been nice to know I'm not alone in my struggle with a mother's shape.

At this point, I only long for that old confidence, the feeling that despite the wide hips, less than perky breasts, and never ending stretch marks, I am fly in my own skin! I'm hopeful that with time, and continued efforts at a healthy lifestyle, I will get there.