When I accepted my current position, I had been unemployed for nine months and relocation was not covered. So I came to Alexandria alone, living on my dear friend's couch for almost two months. Mike and Myki stayed behind with his parents until I could set everything up for us. My little one and I were apart for the first time ever. Hard does not capture how that felt for either of us. I was overwhelmed by guilt and doubt; was this really the only way? Myki went from missing me to worried about me to scared for me. He just knew something wasn't right.
Our reunion was bittersweet. While he was happy and relieved to see me, it was also evident I'd betrayed him; his confidence in me had been shaken. We've spent the last nine months working through that, and all the other challenges of growing from almost 3 to almost 4 years old. I've been frustrated by how difficult it's been. Myki has always been so easy and our interaction was easy. I could calm him, make him laugh and ensure we enjoyed each other!
I've been very much in my own feelings of frustration and almost a sense of loss for how it used to be. But this weekend, I think my husband may have snapped me out of that place of self-pity! We had one of those arguments you're not supposed to talk about, the ones where you say some harsh things, throw some low blows. He essentially told me to get over myself and pull it together!
Myki and I had such a great relationship because I was committed to engaging him - experiments, adventures and excursions all the time. But the move to DC and the new job mark a shift in my thinking. I've been so focused on getting my career to the right place, I'm missing the energy to really give Myki what I used too. I'm hoping this epiphany will help us get there and look forward to the fun we can find in this new place!
PHOTOS - yesterday's dress-up session - cowboy Myki and superhero firewoman mami
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