Myki Update - 5 months

There has not been a Myki update in quite some time. The role of mother, wife, employee is much more demanding than I'd anticipated and extra energy for blogging is a blessing I rarely have....never mind energy for the other hats I wear - friend, daughter, sister....it seems those things have fallen to the wayside.

Part of that is the situation - nighttime events really aren't my friend and no one is all that interested in doing things centered around a baby. Plus, we have some liquidity issues and entertainment is far from free. But some of the isolation is most definitely self-inflicted. I'm happy to be in my house with my bebo. If we go out, he has to remain strapped into his car seat or stroller or in my arms...a position we both love but one he is quickly outgrowing.

Which brings me to the actual Myki update...well, many updates since it has been so long. Let me go in order.

1. He has two little teeth! 5 months old and he has teeth...the time is flying. His dad and I were equally elated and devastated when we discovered this development. Wow, he's growing! (smile) Wow, he's growing so fast! (frown)

2. He is fully also mobile...crawling, getting into absolutely everything, sitting up, launching from a sit-up, trying to climb up Mami and Daddy and lastly, standing with support! That last part is just such a shocker to me.

So, here is a new photo of my little Speedy Gonzalez.

In other news, Mike and I are working on professional photos for his 6 monthday and a Christmas card - stay tuned!

Supermom!

Working in special events is simultaneously wonderful and horrendous. It's great to never be bored and to always have a new goal to reach (because the goals just get higher and higher.) But now that I have Myki, sometimes I long for a boring job, a job I could just leave at the office. Intellectually, I know that a boring job, a bare minimum kind of a job, could never fulfill me but again, the demands of a 4 month old are persuasive.

The positive is that my 4 month old does not only persuade but inspire. He let's me know that I can do it - I can be his mom (a good mom) and excel at my job, I can keep my house clean and prepare good food for my family, I can exclusively breastfeed and endure a two hour commute to the office, I can even wake up at 5 AM each and every morning to help my husband get some extra overtime (after waking up at 3 AM to feed my son). And I can swim (see photo!) I can also coax out giggles with the best of them and I can always, always get a smile.

Some recent displays of my supermom abilities:

- today I endured the stench of a Tri-Rail bathroom to pump much needed milk for my bebo

- on Friday, I nursed Myki on one knee holding my boob with one hand, held the phone to my ear with my shoulder and actively participated in a conference call while balancing my laptop on my other knee and typing with the other hand. For those of you who have seen me, holding my boob is a feat in itself, never mind conference calling, holding a 16 lb baby and typing.

- I navigated the grocery store on Saturday with an inconsolable 3 month old - by the time I was done, I had gotten all of the groceries I needed and soothed my baby to sleep with a finger and a washcloth, yes, I am like the McGuyver of moms!

Myki Discovered his Thumb!

What an eventful couple of weeks. I have been overwhelmed (my new favorite word as a working mother) the past few weeks and oh how I have missed sharing my life and Myki's special moments on this blog!

So I've promised myself I will try to post on here every few days, even if it is a short entry!

Not sure if you remember my workout post a few weeks ago. The following week I did an excellent job of going to workout, walking with Myki, eating right (lots of fruit and salad) and lost 2 of those pesky 12 pounds. Unfortunately, my budget and my life smacked me in the face and the past two weeks have not been so successful. I will persevere! Starting today I'm going to track my calories and see if I can keep chiseling away at the baby weight.

This past Friday Myki rolled over! I kept putting him back on his tummy and he kept rolling right over. My eyes filled with tears, I yelled, I laughed, I put on a show - and he just looked up at my like, what Mami? this is how we roll - literally. Video to come of this precious moment. Unfortunately he hasn't rolled over since but as his Grandma said, he's focused on some other things...

Like his thumb! He has found his thumb and it goes straight in his mouth. Although my brain knows this is a pesky habit, my heart thinks it's the cutest thing ever - his thumb is so little!! And it's given Mami a bit of a break because he can now soothe himself with his thumb. He's had much more tummy time as a result. He tries to roll over, walk even, gets frustrated and starts sucking. Again, super cute!

We are t minus a week and a half to our big work trip to California. Myki will be serving as my personal assistant for the week! (toted around by his Grandma Fuller :-)

Other highlights since the last posting included our first dip in the ocean, and an encore at the pool (I think the pool made more of an impact!), graduation to size 4 diapers (the largest size is 6, potty-training must begin quickly), testing out the exersaucer and succeeding! and meeting our Auntie Crystal for the first time!

Time is flying!

Myki's Video Debut

This was fantastic. It was the first time Myki really SAW the toys hanging down.

We sing, we eat, we sleep.

This is how we spend our days. I usually get a much better reaction from Lindas Manitos but of course, no so much when I video tape! :-)

12 Pounds

I've been thinking for quite some time that I should blog about my post-partum weight loss. I've played with the idea of starting a separate blog completely dedicated to weight loss - Bringing Sexy Back - or something equally as clever. Yes, I fancy myself clever.

I am horrified at the thought of looking the way I look right now, forever. With the beauty of pregnancy and the miracle of childbirth comes the misery of post-partum. I was distracted from the horror of it for the first 4 weeks, just completely wrapped up in my baby boy. But as he and I have gotten ourselves into a groove, I've had a few more minutes to myself and a few more minutes to linger in front of the mirror after a shower or scrutinize the photos of myself and Myki that I'm sending off to family and friends.

I still look huge! In the photos, you can see how my pre-pregnancy clothes are stretched to capacity to cover a wider frame. I'm left with not much of a waist and my stomach looks as if it has literally deflated causing my skin to hang down in all its stretch-marked glory. Combine that with what nursing has done to my breasts and I am the picture of saggy skin.

Now, I was fully aware that my post-partum body would not look ideal. My problem, is the fear I have in getting it back to what it looked like before...and ideally, continuing to work on it until I look the way I did in college. Funny how fat I thought I was then.

Unfortunately I have a lazy streak and I've never been much for working out. This is why I've been hesitant to post on the weight loss issue. Once I put it out here in cyberspace, I will be held accountable...I will have to really work on my weight and more importantly, my health.

So here it is, my pledge to work really hard to overcome my laziness and get into shape. I gained 55 lbs in my pregnancy...I walked into the hospital on June 4, 2009 weighing 250 lbs. I am now down to 207 lbs. My goal is to be at my pre-pregnancy weight of 195 by the time Myki is 3 months old (September 5) and to be at my ideal weight of 160 by the time he is 1 year old. I want to have the energy to go outside and run after my son everyday...to help him learn to play sports, swim, ride a bike and just enjoy activity. So I will work to do something physical each and every day - go for a walk, pop in a workout DVD, visit the stroller strides class I just discovered online, maybe even go for a swim. And I commit to post monthly on my progress.

For now, I find solace in my progress thus far (the benefits of nursing!) and revel in the fact that I'm just 12 lbs from my pre-preggo weight.

Wowzers

We just got back from the Dr's office and our baby boy weighs a whopping 13 lbs. That means he's gained 2 lbs in a week and a half. Amazing for a baby who left the hospital refusing to breastfeed. He's wearing a size 3 diaper and clothes that are 3-6 months. I'm amazed at how quickly he's growing and already nostalgic for the day when he was 8 lbs, 10 ounces.

A Day in the Life

As my maternity leave comes to an end, I marvel at the past six weeks. My son has grown so much in this time. He has literally grown 2 inches and gained at least 4 lbs. He's now round and chubby. He reacts to my voice, to my face, my touch, to music and movement.

Yesterday was a fun-filled day of activity. We woke up at around 8:30 am and sat in our trusty recliner for breakfast. As Michael nursed and stared up at me, I read him a segment from "The Time Traveler's Wife," my first grown-up read in months that doesn't have to do with pregnancy or baby care. He dozed off on a full belly and woke up an hour later wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. He had a mid-morning snack and off to the living room to play.

I put him on his belly for tummy time. The pediatrician says to put him on his belly whenever he's awake so he can learn to lift his head, do baby push-ups and eventually, roll over. He is an expert head lifter and can get about halfway up on his arms for push-ups. Unfortunately, his exercise only lasts about 10 minutes as he gets frustrated with not being able to look around the room or flip himself over. Even his frustration is adorable though.

Once we've hit his cap on tummy time, we move to his back on his new play mat (care of Titi Dionne). He is entranced by the mirror and stares at his beautiful self in awe. He starts to protest at not being held but I begin the music and his protest subsides. I may have a musician on my hands because music and singing always seems to do the trick. We hang out there for a while and when that gets old, we move on to his song stage and mirror...another present. I get some smiles out of that one.

Myki starts sucking on his fingers, a sign that it is mealtime once again. I tune into some HGTV (a maternity leave obsession) as he eats lunch and ponder when I'll get to make my own lunch (it's not 2:15). He doses off and I start to nod off myself so I skip lunch in favor of an afternoon nap. I put him in my bed with me...a no-no, I know but sometimes when we're alone, I can't help myself. I wake up at 4:15 as Daddy blows up my phone wondering where we are. Myki wakes up just as I finish off a very late lunch.

Then off to a relaxing bath so that he smells good for Daddy.

I left out the diaper changes which are oh so much fun as you can imagine. You really do just need to laugh when you change a little boys diaper. At least 50% of the diaper changes end up in messes to be cleaned up. That air hitting his backside when you open the diaper usually prompts a "reaction."

Mike and I then enjoy a yummy (and more and more healthy since baby) dinner with Myki looking on from his rocker. A wonderful end to my day, dinner with my boys.

Thank You Baby Michael

What a whirlwind month....yes a month! Michael turned a month old yesterday and although I feel like the time has just flown by, so much has happened in that month. From walking into the hospital with soggy pants on June 4 to the dreaded c-section on the 5th and finally meeting my son at 11 PM, my Dad's two week visit (the help and company was such a blessing), Mike and I's very overwhelming and emotional bouts in those first weeks as we adjusted to our new roles as parents, little Michael's first look of recognition on Father's Day (he was horrified that his grandmother took him from me - yes, there was a pouty bottom lip) and that first gummy smile a few days later while I read to him, 3 Doctor's visits and a whopping 10 lb weigh-in, bath time progressing from absolute hysterics to a few whimpers of discomfort, many late nights in my recliner nursing, then burping, then trying to figure out how to put my son down and get some sleep, the worries of acid reflux, my breastfeeding struggles, the many gifts and tons of phone calls...it has all combined to be the most challenging and rewarding month of my life.

I've been reminded how blessed I am with fantastic friends, family and coworkers. Myki's fully stocked room and the stack of gift cards we have yet to spend is a testament to that. And I have been challenged - each day I wonder if tomorrow I'll give in and give him formula instead of being a slave to his nursing needs and the sore nipples they have caused. Each day I set another goal - today, I will do laundry; today, I will clean my room, or the kitchen; today, I will attempt to write in my blog and call 3 people back. Sometimes I am successful, most times I'm not but slowly, I'm finding the energy and stolen moments to begin fulfilling my responsibilities again.

I'm still not sure if I'll make it to a year of exclusive breastfeeding as I'd originally planned. My ability to keep my house clean and orderly while working and taking care of Myki is also in question...hell, my ability to start working again is in question. But each day I get at least one big, bright smile, a few calm moments with my snuggle bucket and little expressions and actions that make me laugh and smile. Each day I watch my baby (wow, my baby) grow and learn and those moments have caused an optimism in me that I thought had been lost long ago.

We Have Arrived!!

June 27 and it's been 3 weeks since Michael III entered my life. When I wrote my last post, this moment seemed so far away. I could never have imagined how much I love him and how much I've enjoyed taking care of him and watching him grow these past three weeks.

Our Birth Story:
My water broke on Thursday, June 4 at work...what the hell I was doing at work I still wonder. I went to the bathroom and just thought I'd had an accident or something. But the flow just kept coming and no one has to pee that much! So I tentatively hobbled from the bathroom to the office and urgently pulled aside a coworker who has an infant. "I think my water just broke," I told her and described what happened. She confirmed, "your water broke."

Unable to sit at my cubicle leaking amniotic fluid, I ducked into another coworker's office with a towel for cover and got on the phone. I called the Doctor's office where the nurse told me to "get to the hospital" with an urgency I wasn't expecting. Then I called my husband who I fear didn't quite beleive this was happening....and my mom and dad.

With Mike stuck in traffic, two of my coworkers had to take me to the hospital. The ride was uneventful - none of the huffing, puffing and screaming of TV labor. I was all settled at the hospital and 2 hours had passed since my water broke - and no contractions. Strange.

So they gave me medication to induce labor. And...I labored.....for 27 hours. I had 3 shifts of nurses come and go. It's amazing the range of quality in people who have all supposedly recieved the same training. It was really the night nurse who got me through - she was my own personal drug dealer...but with a sympathetic voice that made any guilt I had over taking medication go away. "I can give you a little sleeping medication, just a little something to relieve the pain, take the edge off..." And after hours of deep breathes and clenched fists, I acquiesed. Then the morning came and with it, some progress and the epidural.

I had read that the baby has to be delivered within 24 hours of your water breaking or there's a risk of infection. So at 22 hours, I was a bit panicked! "Get my baby out of there!" I thought desperately. But the doctor eased my fears assuring me that the risk of infection was to me, not the baby. I guess that was a relief? At 24 hours, I begged to be checked once again. Almost 7 centimeters dilated (I had to get to 10 before I could push and it had taken 3 hours to get from 6 to 7) and the baby was at 0 station (he had 4 more levels to go). Unprepared for 9 more hours of labor, I broke down into tears and asked for a c-section. I NEVER thought I'd actually ask for the c-section.

Even the doctor seemed relieved. So the medication stopped and with it, the labor. Reassurance to me that I wasn't going to hit that 10 centimeters on my own. And we all waited for the operating room to be available. I was prepared for the c-section, anxious to meet my baby - Michael or Gabriella - we still didn't know.

I will spare everyone the gory details of the c-section. Suffice it to say that I was terrified and I'm convinced that pressure is actually a code word for pain. But thank god for morphine and epidurals and good doctors because Michael was delivered at 6:10 PM on Friday, June 5, 2009 safe and sound. A little horrified at being forcibly removed from his cacoon I think, but safe and sound nonetheless.

38 Weeks.....Are We There Yet?

As elated as I have been and still am to be pregnant, my level of mental exhaustion has steadily increased since my last post more than a month ago. In this time, my thoughts on pregnancy have slowly shifted from daily positives to a group of daily complaints that I try hard not to express but, they just overcome me. I am over it. I am over the swollen feet (check out my Easy Spirit sneakers!) and legs, the feeling that both have been severely bruised, the sensation that I've been hit between my legs with a baseball bat, the exhaustion, back pain, increasingly red and itchy stretchmarks (see photo #1), and the intensely painful underside of my belly, a photo of which I will spare you. Never mind the 3-6 times I wake up in the middle of the night to heave myself out of bed and pee, the periodic insomnia and a general sense of immobility.

But the positives do still exist. I found a really great church that I imagine our new family attending together....it just feels right. My nesting instinct is in full speed - the baby's room is all set-up and despite my lack of mobility, I managed to put everything together, wash everything else, set it all up and then just look at it with a big smile on my face.

So it's not all bad. But, I think it's safe to say both Mike and I are over being expectant parents and looking forward to being new parents. Hopefully Baby Fuller cooperates with our desires. Just 10 days to go!