Thank You Baby Michael

What a whirlwind month....yes a month! Michael turned a month old yesterday and although I feel like the time has just flown by, so much has happened in that month. From walking into the hospital with soggy pants on June 4 to the dreaded c-section on the 5th and finally meeting my son at 11 PM, my Dad's two week visit (the help and company was such a blessing), Mike and I's very overwhelming and emotional bouts in those first weeks as we adjusted to our new roles as parents, little Michael's first look of recognition on Father's Day (he was horrified that his grandmother took him from me - yes, there was a pouty bottom lip) and that first gummy smile a few days later while I read to him, 3 Doctor's visits and a whopping 10 lb weigh-in, bath time progressing from absolute hysterics to a few whimpers of discomfort, many late nights in my recliner nursing, then burping, then trying to figure out how to put my son down and get some sleep, the worries of acid reflux, my breastfeeding struggles, the many gifts and tons of phone calls...it has all combined to be the most challenging and rewarding month of my life.

I've been reminded how blessed I am with fantastic friends, family and coworkers. Myki's fully stocked room and the stack of gift cards we have yet to spend is a testament to that. And I have been challenged - each day I wonder if tomorrow I'll give in and give him formula instead of being a slave to his nursing needs and the sore nipples they have caused. Each day I set another goal - today, I will do laundry; today, I will clean my room, or the kitchen; today, I will attempt to write in my blog and call 3 people back. Sometimes I am successful, most times I'm not but slowly, I'm finding the energy and stolen moments to begin fulfilling my responsibilities again.

I'm still not sure if I'll make it to a year of exclusive breastfeeding as I'd originally planned. My ability to keep my house clean and orderly while working and taking care of Myki is also in question...hell, my ability to start working again is in question. But each day I get at least one big, bright smile, a few calm moments with my snuggle bucket and little expressions and actions that make me laugh and smile. Each day I watch my baby (wow, my baby) grow and learn and those moments have caused an optimism in me that I thought had been lost long ago.