Cartoon Patriot

My son was absolutely a cartoon character in a past life. He spent Inauguration Day playing dress-up in a Captain America costume complete with mask and shield. How patriotic, don't you think?

Mike really wanted to take him to Inauguration. Although it was an incredibly historic day, I just couldn't fathom my "likes to book it on his own" baby in the throngs of Inauguration fans. So instead we watched it on TV. I think ultimately that was the best route. Had we attended, he would not have really seen Barry. But in our living room, he saw him up close. "Barack Obana!" Nope, not a typo; we can't get him to say Obama.

He clapped and cheered for his President! He marched around the living room and cheered some more!

His exuberance was contagious and so intense to make you think he really understood the significance of the two-terms of the nation's first Black president. In 2008, Barack's first election, I was pregnant with Myki. I celebrated not only the election, but the reality that my son would be born under a President who looked like him. Our role models, our leaders, provide context for what we think we can be. My son knows he can be the POTUS, Captain America or anything else!

Hoping for a Snow Day!

The Weather Channel, the news and the Federal government were in cahoots last Thursday to orchestrate a snow day. Unfortunately, Mother Nature got the best of them all, and me, by dropping not one once of precipitation in Alexandria, VA! Oh how I had been waiting for that snow!

Myki hasn't seen snow since he was around 18 months; a visit to my mom's in NJ. He thought it was pretty cool and we slid around her driveway for a bit. Never having been exposed to gloves, he initially refused to wear them. After plunging both his bare hands into the snow and ice, he thought better of that decision. Nothing Mami could say was as persuasive as that!

While we left behind some incredible weather in Florida, there is absolutely winter fun to be had in VA! Every morning since Thursday, I've awoken hopefully, peaked out the window and been disappointed by the sea of green grass. C'mon Mother Nature, work with me! We have 3 winters of sledding, snowmen and maybe even some skiing to make up for!

Maybe this week it will come!

What Working Moms Should Have

It's really a travesty that the average working mom doesn't have access to the finer things in life. I received a $150 gift certificate to SpaFinder for Christmas and just used it on my first ever facial! When I first recieved the gift, I thought I'd be able to get at least three treatments out of it (treatment, that's spa lingo for service) - a massage, a facial, mani/pedi...maybe even a wax. My research taught me that that was far from reality. $150 got me one standard facial, just one.

It was so very nice. Usually, when I'm taking the highly recommended "me" time that all moms try to sneak in, my mind is racing with all that I am not doing. But an honest to God spa experience really can clear your mind - the lights, the warmth, no pants, the music, a faux fur blanket - Red Door really knows how to treat a lady.

Moms should have that! When I left I thought, I need to do that once a month. But $150 a month feels....selfish. It's just to much to work in without considering the alternatives - paying down debt, adding to a retirement or college fund, even just taking a day trip with the family.

But, I repeat, moms should have that!

Rebuilding Us

My family and I have lived in Alexandria just over eight months. The transition, like any change, has had highs and lows. Change is hard and it is human nature to resist it. Change is especially challenging for children, who thrive with stability, in stability.

When I accepted my current position, I had been unemployed for nine months and relocation was not covered. So I came to Alexandria alone, living on my dear friend's couch for almost two months. Mike and Myki stayed behind with his parents until I could set everything up for us. My little one and I were apart for the first time ever. Hard does not capture how that felt for either of us. I was overwhelmed by guilt and doubt; was this really the only way? Myki went from missing me to worried about me to scared for me. He just knew something wasn't right.

Our reunion was bittersweet. While he was happy and relieved to see me, it was also evident I'd betrayed him; his confidence in me had been shaken. We've spent the last nine months working through that, and all the other challenges of growing from almost 3 to almost 4 years old. I've been frustrated by how difficult it's been. Myki has always been so easy and our interaction was easy. I could calm him, make him laugh and ensure we enjoyed each other!

I've been very much in my own feelings of frustration and almost a sense of loss for how it used to be. But this weekend, I think my husband may have snapped me out of that place of self-pity! We had one of those arguments you're not supposed to talk about, the ones where you say some harsh things, throw some low blows. He essentially told me to get over myself and pull it together!

Myki and I had such a great relationship because I was committed to engaging him - experiments, adventures and excursions all the time. But the move to DC and the new job mark a shift in my thinking. I've been so focused on getting my career to the right place, I'm missing the energy to really give Myki what I used too. I'm hoping this epiphany will help us get there and look forward to the fun we can find in this new place!

PHOTOS - yesterday's dress-up session - cowboy Myki and superhero firewoman mami

Writing Resolutions

I can't believe I haven't posted in over a year!  The whole layout of Blogger has changed; funny how technology has a way of moving at the speed of light!

So of course my last post was in January 2012, because January is all about new beginnings and initiatives.  Each January I contemplate my goals for the upcoming year and writing more is always on the list.  I had this incredible third grade teacher who told me I was going to be a writer.  It was all she could say about me and she told anyone who'd listen - my parents, other teachers and students, the Principal - "Pamela is going to be a writer!  I can't wait to buy her book."

It was a romantic idea and something I may one day accomplish.  But it never felt like a career option to me, perhaps because of where I came from.  My Dad owned a shirt fabric business in the garment district and my Mom was an engineer - these were very practical and lucrative professions.  Being a writer or artist of any kind was a pastime, a hobby, not a future.  And so I took more practical routes.

But literacy - reading and writing - they are like a therapy to me.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have opinions on everything, strong opinions.  I also have an intense sense of ambition; a vision for what I want my life to look like and for what I want everything I'm connected to to be.  So here I go again, attempting to rekindle something that makes me feel so good - writing.

I recently saw a TED Talk that said stating the end result of a goal gives the brain the same stimulation as actually accomplishing the goal.  Consequently, stating the end result (ex: I will be 50 lbs lighter in a year.) decreases your chances of actually getting there because your brain already feels like its accomplished.  So I will not state a concrete goal, but resolve to do better.  I hope that if I do, you will join me on this journey and comment along the way!

Does life really change at 3?

My husband and I have a running joke that our life will completely change the day our son turns 3 years old. Almost everything fun in life is prequeled by this age requirement. Dance, karate, t-ball and piano lessons all have an age minimum of 3. Chutes and Ladders, my first UNO, action figures and anything smaller than the palm of my hand is not recommended for kids under 3 years old.

Our son has been the size of a 3 year old for over a year so, needless to say, we are equal parts anxious and skeptical of this momentous occasion. Having a son the size of a 3 year old before even turning 2 can be challenging. He's huge! He gets into everything and has outgrown any interest in toys for the under 3 set. But he definitely still puts things in his mouth, runs and falls with pointy things like a toy screwdriver (3+) and has yet to develop a healthy fear of electrical outlets. I have found him hanging from the side of his crib trying to escape, almost submerged in the toilet because his waist is higher then the seat, and with a string from the blinds (that was supposedly out of his reach) around his neck!

With all of this 3 year old physical ability, came the emotional trauma of the terrible two's. So when he's doing the wrong thing and you tell him to stop, he falls on the floor in hysterics. Does that just snap off too he turns 3?

Hopeful for all of the maturity that the warning labels claim!

Coke Zero is my Gateway Food

Like most women, I have been struggling to drop my college/baby weight for years! I have these bursts of health and fitness nirvana where I'm eating well, working out, I have energy and most importantly, motivation to keep going. And then like a sugar high, it just disappears and I turn into this bump-on-a-log person who is always curled up on the couch under a blanket and only gets up to see what's in the refrigerator. I usually blame it on some underlying emotional issue - stress, school, the job search, the realities of being wife and mother. But these things are ongoing and who am I kidding, they will always be there and can't be a reason to "let myself go."

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I fell off the wagon about a month ago after FINALLY breaking the 200 lb barrier that I'd been chasing after. For the first time in almost three years, I weigh less than 200 lbs! Such an achievement should motivate me, not have me binge eating. But I got complacent and after some soul searching, I think Coke Zero was my gateway food. My husband and I are notorious for the sweet tooth - cake, cookies, you name it and we can devour it! But, we had done an excellent job of eliminating sugary beverages. You will never find anything but water and milk in our refrigerator - no juice, no soda. But somehow, Coke Zero made it's way onto the grocery list. I think it was BOGO one day so I grabbed it - Zero Calories, a mini 7.5 oz can - what a great way to satisfy the sweet craving?!

Unfortunately for us, the sweetener in Coke Zero, aspartame, is processed just like sugar. So when you consume it, your body reacts accordingly dispensing insulin and making you feel like you have to eat. Yesterday afternoon, I looked in the fridge with a completely full stomach! I was actively full and searching for food. We had ice cream, cookies and I had just baked a banana, chocolate, coconut loaf (yes, it is delicious). It all smacked me in the face, Coke Zero was my gateway food!

I won't make any unrealistic promises about a new resolve to eat and be healthy. But I will take responsibility for spiraling out of control and falling off the wagon. Here's to a better week and no more Coke Zero at the Fuller House!

Another pearl of wisdom from my one-a-day mommy calendar

I hope that my child
looking back on today
remembers a mother who had time to play.
Children grow up while you
are not looking;
There'll be years ahead for
cleaning and cooking.
So quiet down cobwebs;
dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and
babies don't keep.
- Author Unknown

In my 13 1/2 months as a mother, by far the most overwhelming part for me has been keeping up with the chores. The role of house manager is not one I was raised to fill and when I lived alone, even when it was just Mike and I, messy was ok. Every now and again it got out of control and Mike and I would buckle down and spend a weekend excavating.

But once Myki arrived, clutter and mess became unacceptable. Especially once he started moving around and absolutely anything on the floor was something to taste or trip over. It seems silly I'm sure, but I obsess over how much I hate cleaning and how one-sided the task seems to be.

But this poem says it all. I can plop Myki in his highchair with TV and Cheerios as his companions while I spend hours on the house or I can spend that time with Myki and settle for the reality that my house is not worthy of a Good Housekeeping spread but my son is having a blast!

Photos from Texas

Flowers at the wedding - made by the mother of the bride

Posing for a picture at UT-Austin. It was so gorgeous.

Chuck Taylors at the Texas State Capitol Building

Photo Message from the Babysitters - Myki and his empty lunch bowl

My favorite Austin locale - home of the Texas-sized donut - 5 lbs of deliciousness

Everything is Bigger (Maybe Better?) in Texas

I did it! I cut the cord and let Myki stay in Florida while my Husband and I enjoyed some much-needed adult-only time. I think we agree that there’s no need to make a habit of the separation but, it was healthy and dare I say, fun! So an annual babyless trip might be in our future. It was Mike and I’s first time in Austin, my first time in Texas at all, and we spent four days there in celebration of the union of Jessica Lynd, one of my best friends, and Dante Barros, her Peruvian fiancé who can best be described as one of the warmest and genuine people I’ve ever met.

We arrived in Austin a bit groggy at 11 AM on Thursday and went straight to the hotel to jump on the king size bed and make a game plan for the trip. We headed downtown where I drank my first alcoholic beverage in almost two years; a mango margarita….it was divine. After lunch, we went our separate ways as I headed to the bachelorette party. It was only my second bachelorette party (my own being my first.) Jessica has talked to me about all of her close girlfriends forever and although I’d met some of them briefly and went to school with others, we had never all spent time together. It was actually really wonderful, and especially good timing in my life as my daily interactions are with a 12 month old. I told my husband afterward that I was mutually inspired and intimidated by what all of the bachelorette party attendees had accomplished! Law school, Fulbright Scholars, marriage to the perfect man, working abroad, assisting those who most need it, rubbing elbows with political elite, extensive travel…..it was amazing.

After good conversation and an amazing dinner, we headed to Austin’s 6th Street – the bar and lounge capitol of Texas! On top of not drinking since before being pregnant, I hadn’t been out dancing in something like three years. I never would have imagined years ago that I’d get to the point in my life where dancing was not a regular event. Jess has always danced like no one was watching and that had not changed. I, on the other hand, had trouble moving beyond the bouncing around I do with Myki in my living room. By Saturday’s wedding, I was a bit more loose but as Hannah Barr said, I think I have better moves hiding somewhere within.

Friday morning I headed back to the hotel and despite big plans for the day, I ended up going to sleep and waking up just in time to witness horrendous thunder storms that are NOT conducive to tourism by foot. The rain let up and our little group ventured to Polvo’s Mexican where I gorged myself on some of the best fish tacos I’d ever had…so…much…flavor. I will be trying to recreate them in the coming weeks! And then off to Graham’s Central Station to learn to two-step. Let me tell you that although two-stepping sounds easy, navigating through a roller rink like circle backwards among 100 dancing couples is no easy feat! I am in awe of all the spinning and lack of collisions those authentic cowboys were able to muster.

Saturday brought a homage to the Travel Channel’s Man vs. Food. After wondering around the UT-Austin campus, touring the beautiful State Capitol building and sucking down some 7-Eleven slurpies, Mike and I convinced our entourage to venture almost 40 minutes away to the world famous Salt Lick BBQ, an open pit BBQ restaurant known for its brisket, smoked sausages and pork ribs. These people are serious about their meat! No cornbread or mac and cheese, no fancy cole slaw or sweet baked beans….just some simple sides and bread so you didn’t have to eat the meat alone. It was definitely not what I expected but so delicious!

After rolling out of the Salt Lick, we headed to Round Rock donuts, another world famous locale and home to the Texas-sized donut – a handmade donut in the Texas tradition and literally weighing 5 lbs! They were warm when we got them and quite literally melted in your mouth. Saturday, July 3, 2010 was most definitely a day that will go down in my personal culinary history books! I think I ate more food on this day than I ever had before…and it was all delicious.

After a mad dash back to the hotel and the fastest showers in history, we finally arrived at the main event! The mere sight of the venue knocked the wind out of me. It was so beautiful and the thought and effort that went into every detail were amazing. The guestbook, the flowers, the fans, the seating arrangement, the ceremony, the lighting of the candles, the music and dancing, the dress, oh my god, the dress. I was absolutely in awe of the entire thing and felt so honored to be a part of it. The tears came, of course, but I regained control of myself. It was amazing.

I completely identified with Ellie when she said that compared to this, her wedding was like candy corn, like bracelets you could eat. When I got married, I just couldn’t have fathomed making so many different components happen. I mean, amazing, it’s really all I can say.

I am sure Jess and Dante have an incredible, adventurous, loving and successful journey ahead of them. And reflecting back on this weekend, I am thankful to have witnessed their union and for all of the benefits I reaped from my time in Austin. I reconnected with my husband, commiserated with an incredible group of women, realized that I will not disintegrate if I leave Myki’s side…I was inspired to move out of my comfort zone – maybe I should go to law school, relocate to Texas, get my Ph.D. at UT-Austin, really try to get into the Foreign Service and most definitely, go dancing on a regular basis.