Our academic desires for him move far beyond ability. It is really important to us that Michael reach his full potential. We are obviously bias, but this kid is sharp. He is inquisitive and creative. He also has so much energy! We have already had one or two teachers in his short academic career refer to him as "having trouble focusing," or say that it is very difficult for him to "sit still."
I have three fears for his academic progress:
1. When you are really bright and ahead of your peers, it is very easy for you to stop trying. If being good comes easy to you, why ever push yourself to be exceptional? Why work really hard for a B+ in Honors when I can get an A in the regular class? Why do the extra credit or the homework when I know I'll ace the test? I want to ensure that Myki doesn't become complacent.
2. I don't want anyone giving Myki a pass on performing academically. References to tons of energy are usually a gateway comment to, "maybe he has ADHD" or "boys mature later." While these things may be true, it's not ok to let a little boy get away with things a girl can't. Or to let someone with more energy bounce around the room while the other kids are learning. I don't want Myki to think anything less than focus is ok. He needs to learn to know that there is a time and place for all kinds of behavior.
3. He'll just get lost in the shuffle or fly under the radar. In one of Michael's classes, there was a little boy who just got in trouble everyday. He was putting his hands on other kids, not listening to the teacher, just out of control. His mom and I would arrive to pick the kids up around the same time and guess which of us was more engaged by the teacher? The troublemaker's mom. The teacher would have a 20 minute conversation with her. If I arrived first and tried to engage her on Myki's progress, she would cut me short when the other mom arrived; "Michael's doing really well. Have a great night!" Teachers have large classes and often, not enough resources. While I understand that, I want to be sure my son never falls through the cracks. Knowing him and challenging him are important to his development, both at home and at school.
I have three fears for his academic progress:
1. When you are really bright and ahead of your peers, it is very easy for you to stop trying. If being good comes easy to you, why ever push yourself to be exceptional? Why work really hard for a B+ in Honors when I can get an A in the regular class? Why do the extra credit or the homework when I know I'll ace the test? I want to ensure that Myki doesn't become complacent.
2. I don't want anyone giving Myki a pass on performing academically. References to tons of energy are usually a gateway comment to, "maybe he has ADHD" or "boys mature later." While these things may be true, it's not ok to let a little boy get away with things a girl can't. Or to let someone with more energy bounce around the room while the other kids are learning. I don't want Myki to think anything less than focus is ok. He needs to learn to know that there is a time and place for all kinds of behavior.
3. He'll just get lost in the shuffle or fly under the radar. In one of Michael's classes, there was a little boy who just got in trouble everyday. He was putting his hands on other kids, not listening to the teacher, just out of control. His mom and I would arrive to pick the kids up around the same time and guess which of us was more engaged by the teacher? The troublemaker's mom. The teacher would have a 20 minute conversation with her. If I arrived first and tried to engage her on Myki's progress, she would cut me short when the other mom arrived; "Michael's doing really well. Have a great night!" Teachers have large classes and often, not enough resources. While I understand that, I want to be sure my son never falls through the cracks. Knowing him and challenging him are important to his development, both at home and at school.
I know that academics are a priority to most parents. How do you impact your child(ren)'s learning? We are spending the summer focusing on fine motor skills and writing. We have daily goals in a workbook and are trying to get Myki used to the idea that each morning and afternoon, he needs to sit down and do a few pages in this workbook before he can do anything fun like TV or the pool. Sometimes I worry that we are pushing too hard, he is only four after all. But then I think of my worries above and feel reassured that focusing on his academics now will help him be as great as I know he can be.
2 comments:
Wow, it seems you have a plan. My son Alcy (5) is finishing up pre-school and moving into Kindergarten in the fall. He has been in Kindercare 3-4 and pre-school 4-5. I hear you on making sure he is reaching his milestones. My son speech didn't come in until later around 3. In order for him to qualify for services they classified him as a severe delay. He had a speech therapist work with him for 2 years and a special education teacher that worked with him this past year. As his mom, that really hurt, and dealt with a lot of guilt. Fortunately, his vocabulary blossomed and he would no longer need services in kindergarten. Since he received early intervention services, I felt the need to push learning into him but it was not well received. He loves pre-school and what I was doing to him seemed like a chore. I gave up that struggle and have been doing exploratory learning. Reading books, playing with blocks, his toys, taking walks, making play dough, and having patience for his million +1 "But why?" He has truly blossomed, and I am excited for Kindergarten. When I touched based with an old friend, she has shared that her 3 year old was already reading. The guilt that I was not doing enough tried to creep back in, but I did not let it. Children learn at different pace. I have been fortunate enough to be very involved with the teachers. I've read somewhere that the more you interact with the teachers, the more attention your child gets. I'm there an extra 15 when I drop him off, in the background enjoying watching him interact with the other pre-schoolers, and another 15-30 when I pick him up. I know most of the children names, and interact with them as well. Teachers enjoy having parents involved. Volunteer whenever possible. For working moms, I know it can be difficult. My sugar bear will be graduating pre-k 6.21.13. I'm looking forward for it, and for summer, we will work on continue practicing writing words, learning new words, and enjoying the summer. :-]
Yameiry Calderon
Mom to Alcy (5)
I can totally related. I definitely don;t think you are pushing him too hard. As the mom of a son that is one year younger than Myki, I have similar concerns. I am all about equality, and I think that children should typically be treated the same. But, I also do believe that often times (not always) boy required a bit more discipline in their lives when it comes to getting them to focus. Boys tend to be pretty high energy, and like you, I do not want my son being given a pass on reaching his potential because of any of that.Keep doing what you are doing. I really think he will be better off for it.
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